She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny Pat?"

"Well teacher, I just saw one of your garters."

"Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see
you for three days."

The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realizing she had
forgotten to title the assignment; she reaches to the very
top of the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an even louder
giggle from another male student. She quickly turns and asks,
"What's so funny Billy?"

"Well miss, I just saw both of your garters."

Again she yells, "Get out of my classroom!" This time the
punishment is more severe, "I don't want to see you for three
weeks."

Embarrassed and frustrated, she drops the eraser when she
turns around again. So she bends over to pick it up. This
time there is an burst of laughter from another male
student. She quickly turns to see Little Johnny leaving the
classroom.

"Where do you think you are going?" she asks.

"Well teacher, from what I just saw, my school days are
over."
-------------------------

Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a
"waist?"
Because you could fit another pair of tits there.

Harry goes up to a whore and says, "How much for a blow job?"
She says, "A hundred bucks."
He says, "Okay," and he starts to jack off.
She says, "What are you doing that for?"
He says, "For a hundred bucks, you don't think I'm gonna give
you the easy one, do you?"
(GEDDIT!!!)

Monica Lewinsky's lawyer hands a picture of her to Bill Clinton and
says, "Mr. President, do you recognize this woman?"
Clinton says, "I think I've come across her face a couple of
times."

A guy reaches out of his apartment window to see if it's raining, and
a glass eye falls into his hand. He looks up and sees a woman
looking down.
He yells, "Is this yours?"
She says, "Yes...could you please bring it up?"
He goes up, walks into her apartment, hands her the eye, and she
says, "I'm about to have dinner. Please join me."
After dinner, she says, "Want to go to bed?"
He says, "Are you this friendly to every guy you meet?"
She says, "No. Only the ones who catch my eye."

Hillary Clinton says, "Bill, now the press is saying you lent money
to that Monica Lewinsky for plastic surgery."
He says, "You see how they twist things? What I said was that I
blew a wad on her face.

What's worse than a male chauvinist pig?
A woman that won't do what she's told.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
So they can stand closer to the sink.

Women are like guns.
Keep one around long enough and you're going to want to shoot
it.